Like a Virgin...

Revirginization. The theory that abstaining from sex for a full year - 365 very long days -will make you a virgin again. Obviously a hymen won't grow back, but the movement believes that after a year, participants will be purified to a pre-coitus state. During that year, many choose to focus on work or spritual enlightening instead of the messiness that sex inevitably causes.

Personally... I'm not buying it. After a year of abstaining from sex you are not going to be a purified, spirituately enlightened being - just insanely cranky.

Last night I read the book, Accidental Virgin by Valerie Frankel, which got me thinking about this subject. Stacy, the protagonist, is a hardworking executive at a lingerie website that realizes she is just one week shy of being revirginized. Hilarity ensues as she has many failed attempts to have sex before she reaches the year mark. From allergic reactions to the perils of internet dating & escort services and even a brief consideration of converting to lesbianism, this book is a perfect summer beach read. Don't expect any major revelations or insight - just expect to be amused by a desperate woman who is having the hardest time getting laid.

But back to the premise for the novel. I just can't get on board with this whole revirginization thing. If you aren't having sex for a year it is because either...

1. You just can't get laid (i.e. picking all the wrong men/women);
2. Something bad happened to swear off sex;
3. You have high standards and don't see any reason to compromise;or
4. You just dont want to.

All four involve a choice.

But that choice isn't a ticket to purification. For example, abstaining from sex but still drinking, swearing and lying is not going to get you any enlightenment. In order to find purity, peace and spirituality you have to focus on those things... but as women we have an inate ability to multi-task. I can work on being a more centered person and still get laid.

I think this movement is just designed to make women feel better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) on their choice to not get any. And its just BS. Once your V-Card is gone, you are never going to get it back. Some of us might want to forget that first time, but all you can really do is move on. And I'm sorry, but telling a guy you are a virgin (when it isn't even true!) in your 20s & 30s is 9 times out of 10 just going to freak him out. That has "stage 5 clinger" written all over it.

Seriously... being a virgin was NOT that great. It might of made things a bit simpler but why would you want to go back to that?